PaduServer
Yo mama is so dumb, where it said, "Do not write here" on her application, she wrote "Ok."
Did you hear about the man who sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind, and seeds, anything hereinbefore or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding."
The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind, and seeds, anything hereinbefore or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a hug for Mother’s Day!
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a hug for Mother’s Day!
What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bank they asked her to put on a ski mask.
Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
From chasing parked ambulances.
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.
The dashboard.
Yo mamma's so ugly, when her house was being robbed, the mugger took off his mask and made her wear it.